Black Friday is an Insult to Black America

Before I get on my soapbox about the nonsense of "Black Friday", let me just say I have shopped on the "so-called" Black Friday, in the past, looking for the best deals for Christmas but for the past five years I have not.  

Black Friday is an insult to Black America.   For 51 weeks and 6 days, the word black has a negative meaning.  Blackmail, blackball, blacklist, blackmarket, black cat, black people are all examples of what the majority of society sees as negative. And we, as Black people, are constantly targeted with racial bias, violence, hatred, insensitivity and downright meanness on a daily basis.    

But on one day (and now weekend) during the year, the word black is celebrated as a day when retailers look to capitalize on our hard earned money by dangling carrots (so-called sales) in our faces to take back the pennies we get paid in wages.  And we certainly don't disappoint.  We line up at midnight or wake up during the wee hours of the morning to make sure we are one of the first in line to get some of those carrots.  And some of us act a fool in front of the TV camera by fighting, others get trampled upon and even killed in order to be a part of the frenzy.  And worst yet, the majority of us would rather patronize big businesses than to support our own small, hard working, struggling, minority-owned businesses. Perhaps we can learn from our Latino brothers and sisters. 

Yes, I know this blog is written AFTER the fact, but perhaps if we start thinking about our actions now, we can send a clear and concise message to the retailers from this moment forward AND we can teach our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren about the value of the dollar and the importance of keeping it in our own communities.

There is actually a Black Boycott of Black Friday going on right now.  Did you know that?  I bet you didn't hear about that on the news, did you?  Why not?  Because whites control the majority of the media and their friends are the advertisers who are trying to take our money.

There's an old saying:  Money talks and BS walks.  Let's stop serving those who don't and never had our best interests at heart.  

To learn more about the Black Friday Boycott, click here:  BOYCOTT

Success is a Mindset

Success is a state of mind.  If you want success you have to start thinking of yourself as successful.  A positive mental attitude can go a LONG way especially when it looks like everything around you is falling apart.

A few months ago I came in contact with a young man named Andre Boyd.  He never had much to say but when he spoke, his words were empowering.  To those who have never taken the time to get to know him beyond his few words, he would come across as arrogrant and cocky.  But I saw someone who was digging down deep to uncover his true identity.

And then one day he sent me a poem to read.  I was blown away by it because it was at that moment in time that I believe I understood him and his quest and respected him for the journey he has taken.  I could see him digging deep down into the crevice of his soul to find the answers he's been seeking.  When I asked him why he wrote the poem this was his response:

I was working at the Wake County Detention Center.  Amidst all of the depression, violence, and insanity within the confines of that facility, I began to question all of the decisions I made in life that landed me in this position of employment.  I felt that I was better than my surroundings.  This poem crept into the forefront of my mind as a conscious effort to motivate myself to move forward and to vanquish the pessimism surrounding my regret for the path I chose.

And here is the poem he wrote.....

Ramifications of remembrance, stemming from errors we wish nonexistent
Dwelling within a subconscious realm tucked underneath reminiscence...

Here lies that shadowed doubt.  Could success be gained without falter?
With hindsight appearing in perfect vision, how so would our paths be altered?

Yet the challenges lie within mystery, for omniscience shall remain unattainable
If granted the wisdom of infinity, would the joy for the quest be sustainable?

Would there be such a term as motivation? Or an innate desire to persist?
Because if we really knew then what we know now, our NOW would never exist. 



So whether or not you understand this poem, understand this:  If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.  If you can believe it, the mind can achieve it.  Just ask Andre.

It's All About YOU in Business

I'm sure you've heard people say "It's not about you when it comes to business.  It's all about the customer and making sure they are satisfied."  


Yes, there is definite truth in that statement---no question about it.  If you have a service or product, your objective should be to have a "more than satisfied" customer because that customer is more than likely to refer other customers to you.

But I'm here to tell you, it's all about YOU too.  You are the most important part of your business.  Without you there is no business.  You are the designer of your destiny.  From the beginning you get to decide how much effort you want to put into your success.  You are the captain of your ship and you get to alter the course when necessary.

So here's what YOU have to do each day to jump start and maintain your successful business mindset:

• Wake up ready for the challenges of the day.  Some people just lie in bed dreading the thought of having to get up and face the day.  What I started doing was making a list the night before of things I wanted and needed to accomplish the next day so that would give me a jumping off point.  

• Get in the zone with a heart of gratitude (whatever it takes--I use prayer and meditation).  I also keep a journal where I write down the things I am grateful for as a reminder of the blessings I have already received.

• Put the right food in your body.  You've heard the saying---a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand.  Starting out with a nutritious breakfast goes a LONG way in helping to keep you energized.

• Sweat out the Small Stuff:  Along those same lines, a healthy dose of exercise is good for the mind and body and it helps relieve stress.  So on those days when you're feeling a little overwhelmed, take a break and find an exercise routine you enjoy with some great music to move you along.

• Get perspective.  If you don't know where you're going, how will you know how to get there?  Take some time to map out your day so you can hit as many of your objectives as possible.

• Build strategic alliances.  Look at businesses associated with yours.  Connect with them and discuss what you're both looking for and see if there are ways you can help each other out.  These types of relationships can prove extremely powerful when it comes to referrals so make sure you give as much as you receive.

There are those who work all day.  There are those who dream all day.  And then there are those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Which one are YOU?  

What's Your WHY in Your Business

As I said in a previous blog post, starting your own business can be challenging. You may have some sleepless and eat-less nights.  Unlike a traditional job where you go to work for eight hours a day/40 hours a week (sometimes more), your own business may find you burning the midnight oil----even on the weekends. And while you get a steady paycheck from your regular job (which you will NEVER own), as a business owner you may not see a steady anything for awhile.  

As someone who has flirted with being an entrepreneur, I understand that starting a business takes passion, perseverance and purpose.  It's what I like to call it my "why."  If you don't have a WHY, you can't be very serious about your business.  Your WHY will keep you focused on your goals.  Your WHY will make you keep moving towards your goals when you want to give up.  Your WHY will fuel the passion you have to succeed.

Everyone's WHY is different.  Sure I want to achieve financial success---as does everyone else, but my WHY goes deeper than that.  My WHY is my family.  I don't want my daughter or grandson to have the financial burden of taking care of my expenses when I can no longer take care of them myself or when I die. When my mother passed away in 2012, she left over $100K in debt in the state of Ohio that I had absolutely no clue about.  As her only heir, I became responsible.  I will not go into details about how this story played out in the end but the lesson I learned is that I was the product of parents who did not understand generational wealth.  

GENERATIONAL WEALTH:  an aspect of financial planning that is geared towards passing down stable, significant financial resources to future generations.

As I said earlier, my WHY may not be the same as yours, but perhaps these are some others reasons that motivate you: 

You want meaning and purpose for your life:  Your commitment to your business will strengthen your sense of purpose.

You can learn new skills:  You don't need an MBA to start a new business.  Many times you pick up the skills as you go along.  

You can give money to causes you care about:  There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a "do-gooder" in our world.  And there are so many needs in our society.  The Gates Foundation, created by Bill and Melinda Gates, have donated nearly $32 billion to charitable causes.

You want to travel more:  Owning your own business can give you the freedom to travel more to places you've only dreamed about.  And what's better than traveling to some exotic place and using it as a tax write off.  When my husband and I traveled to St. Lucia for our honeymoon, I donated some of my books to the hotel where we were staying, did a little speaking, and used part of the trip as a tax write off.

You can be your own boss:  When you start your own business, you ARE the boss.  It's that simple.  The answering to no one but yourself will always be attractive and you can work with a hand-picked team who will, hopefully, all be on the exact same page leading towards success.

Here's to your WHY!

Everyone Needs a Support Network in Business

Entrepreneur Jonathan Fields expressed my sentiments exactly when he wrote: "There is absolutely nothing glorious or glamorous about starting a business.....While launching a startup is undoubtedly an exciting and liberating experience, managing the organization on a daily basis can be anything but a dream."

Yes, when you're calling the shots and your success is determined by your drive, motivation and perseverance, the game plan has got to be solid.  And that's why a solid support network is essential.  A network of supporters will carry you along when you feel like giving up.  They will give you encouragement and a swift kick when you need it.  

Here are the types of people you should have in your network according to Rich Mizner, owner of Celebrity Gyms 

Cheerleaders:  Cheerleaders are those individuals who rally behind your ideas and believe in you as an Entrepreneur through the initial start up struggles.  And they stick with you through thick and thin.

And one more thing to add to that from my perspective---make sure your cheerleaders range in age.  Now I know this can be a hard pill to swallow for those of us who have been there and done that and could probably teach our younger counterparts a thing or two but because there is a changing of the guard so to speak, we need to have some young people in our camp who can help us reach their market (if you're aiming for it). 

Role Model:  This is someone who leads by example. This person has paved the way to success and is guiding you to the promised land. 

The Expert:  Experts often provide the missing pieces for Entrepreneurs who are focused on, and anxious about, getting their business off the ground and keeping it afloat. And don't be intimidated by "youth."  Some of the most brilliant entrepreneurs I know are under the age of 40 so who better to learn from than someone whose already playing the game and WINNING? 

If you're fortunate to have your own support network that's awesome, however, if you don't try looking more closely at your inner circle or as Rich says, "...get out there and do more networking!"

The Choices You Make

We all have choices in life and in business:

A choice in attitude
A choice in direction
A choice of victory or defeat
A choice of bitterness or sweetness
A choice of falling down (and staying there) or rising up
A choice of drowning in a pity pool or learning how to swim
A choice of getting burned or being baptized by fire

The mental attitude which we hold towards our work, our aim, our goals and dreams has EVERYTHING to do with what we accomplish.

"If you're driving with passion don't allow yourself to get pulled over by someone looking for a free ride." ~Beverly Mahone  

Building Relationships in Business with Strangers

My husband and I have been together for 15 years (9 of them as husband and wife).  Not long ago, while traveling, one of my all-time favorite songs came on the radio.  It was "Africa" by Toto.  I turned up the radio and started singing along.  My husband said, "That's one of my favorite songs!"  Of course, I was shocked because, first of all, I didn't think that would be his style of music and I thought we had been together long enough for me to know that little piece of information.      

So where am I going with that story?  The point is even though my husband and I have been together for more than a decade, we are still building our relationship as a married couple and as friends. I still learn new things about him which keeps things interesting.   

So how does this relate to business?  In order to be successful in business you must focus on building relationships with others.  It starts from the moment you meet someone.  My husband and I didn't meet and instantly fall in love.  We were truly strangers because we met online and it took time to get to know whether we were compatible or not.

Every stranger you meet has the potential to have some sort of relationship with you---whether it be as a love interest, friend or customer.

Here are some tips for turning strangers into potential customers and building on the relationship:

SMILE:  I can't tell you the number of times I've had strangers smile at me.  It's a wonderful form of nonverbal communication and can open the door to some engaging conversation.  Besides, smiling makes a good first impression!

Speak to EVERYBODY:  I've been told quite often that I never meet a stranger and that's true.  I'm a communicator and I will talk to anybody.  Now you may not be as outgoing as I am and that's okay, however, in business you need to get in the habit of saying hello to people you come in contact with.  A simple "Hello" can lead to awesome future business opportunities.

Don't Take Anything PERSONAL:  If you smile or speak to someone and they don't acknowledge you, don't worry about it.  You are not responsible for what's going on inside their head at that particular moment or they could just be hard-of-hearing.  

Network, Network, Network!  That doesn't mean you have to go to every event in your community.  Be selective.  But when you go, make it your business to connect with someone you don't know and if you see someone you know talking to someone you'd like to meet, ask for an introduction.

Mix Pleasure with Business:  People are more inclined to do business with those they know, like, and trust so if you spend your time talking about what you do for business, chances are you'll be talking to deaf ears.  If I spent my time just talking about what I do, I'm sure I would be avoided like the plague and word would get around fast to stay away from me.  Building relationships with others means getting to know someone beyond what they do.  It is in the "chit chat" that you discover what else you might have in common.   

Be a Good Listener:  Once you open the door of communication make sure you take the time to listen to what the other person is saying and ask them questions about themselves  instead of making the conversation all about you.    

Don't Hesitate to take the Lead on Striking up a Conversation:  There's an old saying, "He who hesitates is lost."  If you choose to sit back and wait for someone to come up to you to start talking, you may be missing out on a potential new customer and possibly a new friend. 

When you allow yourself to interact with strangers beyond the traditional "shop talk" you may discover you're in a win-win situation.